TIME LIKE THIS...

There are lots of things bugging in my mind rite now. Last week has been a very tiring and busy but yet enjoyable week with our dearest anak2 angkat graduation.

At the same time we are still tirelessly hunting for a new house. We had actually viewed more than 5 houses/flats but to no avail. We have checked lots of renting website, go around the neighbourhood until the kids are dizzy.... saying that we are looking for a better house which Ajmal doesn't really keen on doing so we need to 'bribe' him with bobot a.k.a sweets/candy each time we do our now routine 'house hunting' round. Fuhhhhh..... house hunting do drains you especially when you're heavily pregnant. huhuhu....

Amidst of not finding a suitable house yet (read: to our budget mostly and the location wise), we have started packing our things and belongings, hoping and praying that we'll secure one at the nick of time... after all, my tummy is getting bigger by day.... so before I can't hardly move around, I'd better get ready with all the packings. I could not imagine if my hubby has to do it on his own.. hohohoho... haruslah dia sumbat semua benda dalam bin bags nanti :D

Today, we sent Dibah at the bus station, taking perhaps her last journey from Sheffield back home. I was holding my tears, watching her go, its like a piece of my heart flies back home too. Tomorrow its Pai's turn, then on friday it will be Capau's. People do come and go, after all.. thats how its supposed to be. Disini hanya persinggahan mencari ilmu.... tiba masanya kita harus pulang utk mencurah khidmat dan bakti di tanahair. But still, after a few years having them around, being a big sis to them, them being big sis and bros to Shafiyyah and Ajmal, I can't help feeling a big hole in my heart. Frankly, I miss them already........ by end of this week, they will all be gone. On top of that, this weekend most of my friends and their family will be going for a summer camp held by Majlis Syura Muslimun (MSM) in Wales. Somehow, I felt lonely, like I'm left behind..... somehow I feel like crying.....


Owhhh.. Shafiyyah wanted soooo much to go to the summer camp since lots of her frens will be there including Jannah and Izzati. We had actually bought ready beds for Shafiyyah and Ajmal, in case we are going... but then we are more than a way not in the condition to go. Pity her... their summer holiday is just spent on boring house hunting session so far. Ibu is so sorry Shafiyyah, how I wish you can go and have a good time with your frens, how I wish we all can go... inshaAllah ibu will replace it with something else when I can.


Last few days, while I was lying in bed, lost in deep thoughts... suddenly out of the blue I heard Shafiyyah singing a carrie underwood tune of I'll stand by you.....................

ohh... why you look so sad
tears are in your eyes
come on and come to me now

don't be ashamed to cry
let me see you through
cause I've seen the dark side too

when the night falls on you
you don't know what to do
nothing you confess
could make me love u less

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you

note: I told my self, again and again, repeatedly... this is just a small test from Allah.. hang on there, keep your prayings, dont' crack under the pressure... inshaAllah everything will turn out well.

Sometimes I found myself staring at the kids sound asleep, searching for the strength that much needed.... O' Allah, please keep me on my feet and give me the strength.