Wednesday, November 07, 2012


"Adakah semua ini yang ku inginkan 
 ataupun hanya mengejar dunia semata-mata 
 ku harap ku masih percaya"  

I started off right away after my MSc. I knew it by then that I want to be in education line; and I'm doing it for the love of teaching. 

 After more than 10 years, I start questioning myself. No, not about the love I mentioned before for its still there... but more about whether I'm in the right place. 

 Here, most of the people, all they care is about how many grants do you have under your name, how many awards within your grasp, how many journals and papers did you wrote in a year; even so, how many of it marked with the highest impact factor. 

Guess nobody really bother whether you do love teaching and educating the student. The closest to it is whether we can comply to what EAC says... damn.. applying thick brittle coating on the surface won't strengthen the core. It will look solid on the outside, but hell yes, if you knock it on the right place, it will fall, crumbling apart.

 Hah, i don't know why I'm jotting this down on the first place. Maybe its just me... or maybe its something bigger, beyond me. who knows. who cares?

Thursday, November 01, 2012

35 weeks and anxiously counting.

Salam to those who do drop by my humble blog. I'm 35 weeks expecting...and anxiously waiting for the day, inshaAllah. InshaAllah, its going to be a baby GIRL as much anticipated by everyone in the family. Ibu pun adalah excited ok, its been ages since we last shop for all the cute dress. Well, of course during previous years ada beli utk kakak, but she outgrown all those dresses now and are more to early teenage kinda style nowadays. *sudah besar, tak kan masih mahu pakai baby doll dress* My hospital bag is packed and ready in the car, in case adalah mahu terbersalin during office hour ke apa. But the three previous experience, semuanya start in the middle of the night. Masa time kakak, start sakit in the middle of the nite, sebab anak first, adalah menggelupur terus pergi hospital just to find out that the opening is only 2cm. Masa Ajmal pulak, my waterbag broke at about 2am tapi tak sakit. The same thing goes for fateh.. waterbag broke at 2am without any contraction. Yang no.4 ni tak tau lah lagi macamana. Harap Allah permudahkan. Ameen. Baju all baby stuffs mostly is ready, sedikit sebanyak. Bottle warmer dah request dgn anak-anak angkatku supaya diaorang tak pening kepala nak beli apa, pandai tak ibu? I already booked for confinement home service for 1 week consists of massage, pakai bengkung, mandi baby + bertungku. maybe if it turns out well, I'll extend for another week. These days all kind of services is available, provided that you are willing to spend for it. I've come across in one of the tv program about confinement services in a private villa. The cost? almost rm15k for a month. Tu diaaaaaa..... lepas confinement boleh luruh rambut kaedahnya. hehehe... lagi satu yg belum beli adalah set bersalin.. InshaAllah nak beli set Nona Roguy. Last time I used the set, its ok.. especially the pyhtonatal. My MIL do make the ubat periuk which is use during confinement (you have to boil the pack and drink it),... but the taste.. hohohoho... to much for me laaa.. I get choked everytime I tried. So, I do not opt for that choice.. carik yg boleh telan je in the form of pills. And yesssss... we already have a name ready for the baby. Nanti2 update bila tuannya dah keluar. hihi.. OKlah, got to go. soklan exam belum habis buat nih. Nedd to settle a few things before off for maternity leave. Till then, to those who do drop by, doakan saya dan baby selamat semuanya dan dipermudahkan Allah ye.

Tuesday, October 09, 2012

Please understand.

ahhhh.. maybe its just me. Maybe its the preggy hormone kicking. Maybe because my back and in between my shoulder blade are aching so much off late. . . . . . . But I do realize that I tend to be hyper-sensitive nowadays. . . . . . . . Little things make me cry. . . . . . . . . Even tiny little things make me cry and sobbed all nite. . . . . . . . . Maybe because I don't really have anybody that I can pour my heart to. Everybody I turn to seems to either turn their back on me, or ended up irritates me even more. . . . . . . . . Sometimes, all I want to do is to have someone to listen. Calmly and soothingly listen, without firing back on me. . . . . . . . My back sores you know, my feet hurt you know, I do have sleepless nite you know. Even mere walking is a tough task these days. . . . . . . .. An.d all I want is for someone to listen. Just listen without judging. Please. .... .............

Monday, October 01, 2012

Preggy oh Preggy

Salam everyone; if there is any at all dropping by these days. :D So, here I am.. heavily preggy rite now. Seriously I feel like doing nothing at this point. Pregnancy wise is ok, except for the fact that my back hurts, my waist sore and my feet is aching. I've started collecting/buying all the necessities, almost completed now. Baju ada beli sikit2, the rest hand over from abang fateh. hehehe.. Dalam pada tak larat tu, rezeki anak sangat murah, Alhamdulillah. My dear hubby got a new job not too far away from home. At least now he can commute back weekly easily than it was before. Cuma maid je belum 'order'.. need to work on that asap. ajmal and fateh are turning 8 and 3 this month. Sorry la dear darlings ibu, can't afford to throw a party for both of you. Wiken lepas masak sambal udang pun rasa mcm nak pitam. Work wise, well.............. who wants to mention about work here. But I do plan to apply for earlier leave. Macam ada kemungkinan nak bersalin awal je ni judging by the 2 previous experience. Cuma kakak je yang keluar on time. Agak pening juga memikirkan yang aku ni nak bersalin time hujung tahun masa cuti sekolah. With all the three kids around the house, agak chaos juga nanti. Better for me to think of something. Rasa macam nak send them off to nursery je at least for half day untuk mengurangkan kadar chaos. Or just send ajmal and fateh? coz we can use kakak for free labor at home. hehe.. ermmm... ada banyak nak pikir nih. I'll start by going to the pantry and get some cold drinks to get me started. heh!

Thursday, May 24, 2012


Well.. where do I start? Lets begin with something nice. Last few months the government announced about the salary increment for those in govern. sector. That's good, considering I'm a minah kerja gomen makan gaji tiap2 bulan. So this month's salary we got all the backdated increment. Well, that's super good. The not so good news is, we are about to hire a full time maid. Now that's rm7-8k out into the air.
Why? because I'm desperately in need of one right now.

You see, I'm the mum and the dad of the house most of the time since dear hubby is working in the east part of Malaysia. I already have my hands full with those 3 kids, juggling between work and trying to run errands as smoothly as possible. Long gone were the days when I was so fussy about the tidiness and cleanliness of the house. These days, almost 80 % of everything is tolerated.

Now, I'm still alone here with the kids and preggy too. Yes, with not so mild morning sickness that struck almost the whole day despite of the name. Seriously, there are times when I feel that all these are too much to bear. I'm exhausted, I'm tired and sometimes I'm so weak, I need to shamelessly ask my colleagues to send me home.

I know, you'll say: Be patience. That's exactly what I'm doing and keep on trying to do. Believe me. I'm not complaining. I just want to let my heart out. I don't know if it makes me feel better, I hope so. I need to escape to somewhere. But where can I go? My best hope is to wait for my dear hubby to come back home soon. Really soon I hope and pray,for the kids will be having a two weeks school holiday. And me on my own, its going to be chaos.


Tuesday, April 17, 2012


Have been pretty lazy lately...
All i want to do is to lie down, golek-golek...
Since last week, I slept after lunch... ouwchh!

all of this lead to one thing.
ahh.. nanti-nantilah announce. :D

sekarang sudah rasa mahu tergolek lagi.

Thursday, March 29, 2012


O'ALLAH, there is a strong urge in my heart,
to be able to do what I've dream of for years now,
something which I believe where my passion lies.

O'ALLAH, there was a time when it is almost within my grab,
but somehow it slipped away,
and I have faith that your plan is the best.

O'ALLAH, and I pray to you and seek for Your guidance and mercy,
if I'm meant to be good at what I think I am,
please open up the doors for me,
for there is a strong urge in my heart.


note: I'm just a gal who are tired of pretending, I just want to be me.

Friday, March 23, 2012



... and the sorrow is for me to swallow.

until one day, I'll find myself numb and won't be able to feel anymore.


not that I don't try to be happy and smile, but sadness always seems to find their way through.

... and the fault is my own, and the fault is my own.


I should've known...

note: reminiscing is the only option. :(

Wednesday, March 07, 2012



Ibu mandikan Ateh. Lepas mandi, ibu keluar nak ambik towel utk Ateh. Ibu panggil Ateh keluar dari toilet. Ateh tutup pintu dan kunci.Kenala ibu pujuk rayu mintak Ateh bukak pintu. Lepas tu barula Ateh bukak. ooo..pandai ye.

Ibu mandikan Ateh. Lepas mandi, ibu keluar nak ambik towel utk Ateh. Ibu panggil Ateh keluar dari toilet. Ateh terus cepat-cepat tutup pintu dan kunci. ooo... pandai ye. Tapi ibu pulak cepat-cepat tutup lampu. Menggelupur Ateh bukak pintu.

Hahahahahaha... padan muka Ateh. Petang semalam boleh la. Kali ni dah malam. Ateh silap langkah. ooo... pandai ibu ye.

note:, saya rindu kamu. :D

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Just, WHY?


patutlah dikatakan lebih tajam dari mata pedang.
kerana walaupun dituturkan dengan nada yang lembut, tapi bisa saja menghiris hati. Kerana walaupun dikarang dengan bait yang indah, boleh saja merobek jiwa.

Lebih baik dihamburkan, at least I can see its coming. :(

Dan kata-kata,
pernah membuat aku jatuh cinta dulu.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012


Still Missing You..

Well, its already mid of Jan. Time do flies, in fact these days it is faster than many of us anticipate.. UNLESS, yes.. unless when you're missing someone. Then time might somehow become so slow. But then again, sometimes it happen both. *sigh*

Last two weeks was rather hectic. The weekend was well spent. Saturday we were off to Aufa's aqiqah in Puncak Perdana. Such a big boy now! Sunday was even busier. we start off the day by sending my BIL to UniKL in Alor Gajah. Right after that, memecut ala2 too fast too furious ke PD for our BBQ di tepian pantai.
We enjoyed the beach, got on the banana boat for the first time in my life. Kids get to play korek2 pasir and bermain di gigi air. (seriously, memang literally gigi air..hahaha... sian dorang, boleh mandi laut tapi tang yang paras buku lali je). we reach home when its already past 9 pm.

Well, that was the fun part. THe 'not so fun' part is that the next day fateh got high fever and it managed to keep me 'on standby' the whole night. It lasts for several days. Huhuhu... so much of the 1 day fun rite?!.
Ahh.. tiba2 hilang mood pulak. Someone knock on my door reminding me of the never ending 'work' story. Better go.

Sunday, January 08, 2012

Hati ini di seberang laut.

no matter how tired you are;
no matter how much your body is aching;
no matter how sleepy your eyes might be;

Deep in your heart you can't help but missing the one that you love. You miss him/her so much, its pressing your chest you feel like its hard to breathe.

Right now, my chest, it feels like it behold a ton of concrete on it.

Yes, I miss YOU. A lot you know.

Thursday, January 05, 2012

entri Sengal

Salam. Sudah tahun baru. InshaAllah, I will try to reduce or if possible totally eliminate my one not so good attitude. It's a secret though. It should be a jihad within myself.

Shafiyyah is now in year 5. Besar sudah my little gal. Skrg pegi sekolah wearing pink and maroon sbb dah jadi pengawas buku teks. hehe.. ib do found it a bit funny... sori kakak. :P

Ajmal is in year 2. I've been thinking of moving him to i-musleh. Need to consult dear hubby bout this asap.

Fateh is still a one happy and kelasakan little tembam boy. Ibu loveeeeeee my tembam baby! sangat lasak ok, panjat sana sini, bencot dahi, berdarah bibir; but still very adorable dan ke'masam'mannya adalah soooooo sedap.

Mama is here now, her ankle is getting better, just have to take extra caution not to let my tembam baby step on her feet. :D

Me, well... what can I say. Most part of me is still me buuuuuuuutttttttt...

here's the problem. And it's all my dear hubby's fault!
Since for the last couple of weeks I've been eating like tak hengat, now I'm TOTALLY TEBAL!!!! front view, side view... so annoying. Yeah..yeah.. I know I'm 37 this year but still; LEMAK yang tebal? oh no!!!!

SO, Hence the aerobic class tomorrow. Lunch hour. Lepas aerobic melantak nasik. sigh!

Thursday, November 24, 2011


The skies are still in loving blue
Those birds on the trees are still chirping
Those trees are still swaying gently
The kids are laughing happily
The wind breeze is still brushing your cheek
The foods are still lavishly laid on our table
Our love ones are still around us
Our heart beats unbeatable beautiful rhythm
Allah's blessing and mercy never stop on us

So STOP whining dear little heart o' mine. Pull a smile and go on this path. No matter how winding it may seems, no matter how many mountains we have to climb.. rest assure dear little heart o' mine, that Allah is with us all the way. InshaAllah we'll get there, sooner or latter. Pause if you have to but never lose hope and quit.

NOTE: I'm just a soul whose trying to be the best that I can be. InshaAllah. Please pray for me.

Monday, November 14, 2011

LIFE - as i knew it


Last two years was hectic, till today. Since arwah papa passed away, nothing seems to be the same again. If only I can script it all here... everything that went and goes on. But don't get me wrong. Life is still beautiful nevertheless, His blessing and mercy keep on pouring on us. Alhamdulillah. Trials and obstacles I presumed is what make us alive. We just have to find a way to live with it.

Its already towards the end of 2011. I'm going to be 37 next year. Goshhh! time do flies, maybe it flies at supersonic speed these days except for those time that I spent missing my other half. Or, maybe time on its own is alive. A twilight. *what the heck am I babbling about?*

NOw and then, this melancholic song from 'the cats' broadway keep coming back to my head.

Memories, all alone in the moonlight.
I can smile at the old days,
life was beautiful then.
I remember the time I knew what happiness was.
Let the memory live again.

note: its not easy to be me. BUT who is?

Wednesday, November 09, 2011


Saying 'see u later' and letting go is never easy. Its heartbreaking. Always. Never fail. And this is the sacrifice I'm willing to take. Love indeed can do many splendid things.


Thursday, November 03, 2011


cutie pie Aufa Rahmat. *mak long love u to bits*

Ata 3rd wedding reception. yessss.... tiga kali ok bersanding. This one back in rembau. 3 pasang pengantin. MERIAH!

my dearest Amir Fateh, few weeks after he was born. Photo taken at 19 Scott Rd. I miss that tiny apartment that we rent. Small but cozy at the same time.

Salam. wohohohoooooo... its been years since this blog is updated. Somehow I just can't log in and finally dear hubby managed to do something about it. Miss this blog, miss all the memories it kept well through the years.

Now its already towards the end of 2011. Time flies. Memories remain. A lot happened within this 2 years. We are back in Melaka. No more sheffield and the bone biting coldness of winter. Oh, I do miss summer though, and carboot the most. :(

Fateh was born in October 17th 2009, just over 2 months after arwah Papa passed away. It was difficult time, full of trials and agony. But his birth bring along sunshine to what was a gloomy winter days that year. Alhamdulillah.

Ata is married last year in October, now the family expand with the arrival of cutie little Aufa Rahmat on the second day of Eid 2011. Apin had graduated last weekend, but still pursuing her degree. Dear hubby is now working in Miri, away from the shore, away from home, far away from me. Mama had just had an operation on her ankle right after Eid,till unable to walk. The kids (i.e. Shafiyyah and Ajmal) settle very well in their new school. Though there are times when they're begging me to go back to Netherthorpe School, but they do adapt to the new 'school environment' in Malaysia. Of course it is miles different from how schools are in UK, but this is home nevertheless. We just have to cope up. InshaAllah.

Kakak is a big girl now, she eats tremendously a lot for a 10 year old. hahaha... Quite fond to asam pedas and nasik. Ajmal is a big boy too, back teeth is back in place, though front teeth is somehow going in the drain. :D Very cool boy indeed, doesn't care much about other people expactations out of him, school wise especially. Hilang buku teks pun relax je, homework almost next to nil (according to him). Exam time, dapat B's pun ok je, dapat A's pun not really that excited. hahaha... but really into reading this days (text book excluded though).
Fateh is a super active 2 years old toddler. Always have something in his mind, ready to strike at any time. Ibu kadang2 adalah agak furious, but all that just make him cuter and cuddlier.

Wow, thats a hefty lot of information in one entry.

owhh, my anak2 angkat... all of them are now busy with their life, working all around Malaysia and singapore even to China. But once in a while, they'll get together and put a surprise for Ibu. Yes, I still received flowers bouquet for my birthday. And whenever possible, we still celebrate birthdays together. Not even once did they failed to melt my heart.

I guess that's enough for today. Piles of work are waiting for me. Better get my hands on them. Due date is pushing.

I'm back, and InshaAllah will be back more frequently after this. Till then, have a good day everyone. May Allah bless us all with His mercy. ameen.

Wednesday, December 09, 2009



Saya rindu nak pulang ke tanah air tershenta... (tp belajau belom habis lagik)

Saya rindu nak bersantai di pantai sambil makan sotong dan ikan goreng tepung... (tp saya masih terperangkap dlm kesejukan di negeri sejuk beku ini)

Saya rindu pada arwah papa saya... (tp arwah sudah tiada, saya tidak boleh mengada-ngada mcm dulu lagi; Al-fatihah utk arwah)

Saya rindu nak berkelah bawah pokok belakang masjid terapung... (tp things would never be the same again... walaupun pokok dan masjid itu masih tetap disitu)

Saya rindu nak outing berdua je dgn my other half... (tp skrg anak saya sudah berderet, nak makan kat rumah sama-sama pun payah... mcmana nak keluar dating)

Saya rindu nak golek2 dengan bespren saya in the world... (tp dia tgh sibuk disana, saya tgh pening disini; berckp kat telefon pun jarang... mcmana nak pegi shopping2)


note: I may not be wealthy, but I'm blessed with so many people who love me, who stay with me thru thick and thin. For that, I'm forever thankful to the Al-Mighty.

Thursday, September 17, 2009


AL- FATIHAH buat Allahyarham ayahanda tercinta yg telah kembali ke rahmatulllah pada 07.08.09

05.10.48 - 07.08.09
Kasih dan ingatan ini padamu ayahanda, takkan pernah pudar. Dengan setiap kerinduan anakanda iringi dengan kalimah-kalimah Allah, semoga roh ayahanda tenang disana. Ameen.
Beberapa bulan kebelakangan dipenuhi dengan seribu satu cerita. We were house hunting for weeks, exhausting as I am heavily pregnant but still keen to make it before Ramadhan. We found a nice, tiny flat within a reasonable distance to our kid's school and to the university as well as fit in with our budget. We started packing intensively, passing our 9th anniversary on the 5th with just a brief wishes to each other... and got the shocking news on early Friday morning on the 7th. Yes, it all came one after another... pain after pain, slicing me to bits.
But Alhamdulillah, with help from dear friends I managed to keep on my feet... though shakingly but still....
But this Ramadhan is beautiful than ever... peaceful as it is promised by Him. Praise to the Almighty. Syawal is just around the corner, and I have a mixed feeling about it. Thankful, happy, anxious as the baby is due in about 1 month, so glad as the kids at last got their baju raya from my bespren in the world, sad to think about how my mum will cope up with it back home.. but all in all, still looking forward to it as I already think of the menu by now.. (huhu.. so typical me...)
Dikesempatan ini, I would like to wish all my muslim friends, my relatives, those who kindly drop by this humble blog of mine... a very happy Hari Raya. Eid Mubarak everybody, may we all always be under His blessing.
note: to those lovely 'sisters' of mine, whose been there in my time of need (you know who you are)... Thank You. For Everything. I mean it from the deepest depth of my very soul. I do.

Monday, July 27, 2009


There are lots of things bugging in my mind rite now. Last week has been a very tiring and busy but yet enjoyable week with our dearest anak2 angkat graduation.

At the same time we are still tirelessly hunting for a new house. We had actually viewed more than 5 houses/flats but to no avail. We have checked lots of renting website, go around the neighbourhood until the kids are dizzy.... saying that we are looking for a better house which Ajmal doesn't really keen on doing so we need to 'bribe' him with bobot a.k.a sweets/candy each time we do our now routine 'house hunting' round. Fuhhhhh..... house hunting do drains you especially when you're heavily pregnant. huhuhu....

Amidst of not finding a suitable house yet (read: to our budget mostly and the location wise), we have started packing our things and belongings, hoping and praying that we'll secure one at the nick of time... after all, my tummy is getting bigger by day.... so before I can't hardly move around, I'd better get ready with all the packings. I could not imagine if my hubby has to do it on his own.. hohohoho... haruslah dia sumbat semua benda dalam bin bags nanti :D

Today, we sent Dibah at the bus station, taking perhaps her last journey from Sheffield back home. I was holding my tears, watching her go, its like a piece of my heart flies back home too. Tomorrow its Pai's turn, then on friday it will be Capau's. People do come and go, after all.. thats how its supposed to be. Disini hanya persinggahan mencari ilmu.... tiba masanya kita harus pulang utk mencurah khidmat dan bakti di tanahair. But still, after a few years having them around, being a big sis to them, them being big sis and bros to Shafiyyah and Ajmal, I can't help feeling a big hole in my heart. Frankly, I miss them already........ by end of this week, they will all be gone. On top of that, this weekend most of my friends and their family will be going for a summer camp held by Majlis Syura Muslimun (MSM) in Wales. Somehow, I felt lonely, like I'm left behind..... somehow I feel like crying.....

Owhhh.. Shafiyyah wanted soooo much to go to the summer camp since lots of her frens will be there including Jannah and Izzati. We had actually bought ready beds for Shafiyyah and Ajmal, in case we are going... but then we are more than a way not in the condition to go. Pity her... their summer holiday is just spent on boring house hunting session so far. Ibu is so sorry Shafiyyah, how I wish you can go and have a good time with your frens, how I wish we all can go... inshaAllah ibu will replace it with something else when I can.

Last few days, while I was lying in bed, lost in deep thoughts... suddenly out of the blue I heard Shafiyyah singing a carrie underwood tune of I'll stand by you.....................

ohh... why you look so sad
tears are in your eyes
come on and come to me now

don't be ashamed to cry
let me see you through
cause I've seen the dark side too

when the night falls on you
you don't know what to do
nothing you confess
could make me love u less

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you

note: I told my self, again and again, repeatedly... this is just a small test from Allah.. hang on there, keep your prayings, dont' crack under the pressure... inshaAllah everything will turn out well.

Sometimes I found myself staring at the kids sound asleep, searching for the strength that much needed.... O' Allah, please keep me on my feet and give me the strength.

Wednesday, July 08, 2009


Kesahnyer baru upload gambar-gambar dari kamera. So hence the backdated story mory :D


Ni citer latest lah kira. Baru sabtu minggu lepas. Ada Family Day kat Panderosa Park (which is close to our house). Meriah.... hadiah byk, makanan byk, family pun ramai yg datang. So all in all it was a very successful event. Thumbs up to the organizer. Saya tak byk sangat amek gambar coz, malaslah nak bergambar... gue' gumuk. Bak kata apam si photographer... "tak muat lah kamera kak".

adik dgn gaya pro sedang racing dgn scooter pink kakak punya. yesss... masa ni la nak try skill dok main racing kat komputer. kan adik kan.. kan....

ni masa tgh bersiap sedia nak race... kesahnyer game ni utk 3-5 tahun jer, tp ramai la pulak yg dah besar dan takde scooter nak masuk gak... habis la kalah yg kecik2 ni haaa... hehehe

"apa tengok2? kita punya scooter laju tau... ada noss" hahahahaha (begitulah gamaknyer kata adik dlm hati)

vroom.. vroom.. adik ngan hadi side by side. Siap utk berlumba walaupun dua2 dapat nombor corot...hehehe. Adik actually ada masuk lari dalam guni, tak amek la pulak gambar. Sayang betullah sbb adik melompat laju betul masa tu... kagum ibu. Group dia siap dapat 2nd place.

Yang ni pulak fashion show line up. Macam-macam pesen ada. Ultraman ada, si penjual bunga ada, princess ada, princess bride ada, spiderman ada, clon army ada... preggy mummy pun ada. serius.... anak sapa la kena paksa jd preggy tu ek. (wink-wink kat laily.....hehehehe)

kakak as a florist gal pasal tema dia patutnya "what I want to be" . Malu-malu pulak kakak.... (bakul ditaja oleh auntie kina.. hihi. arigato!)

Ni plak mujahadah sejati... siap bawak pedang ngan bendera FREE PALESTINE

owhhhh... ni champion talak juai punya. Si Mujahid Sejati Tercomel Abad Ini. Pak Aji, kita booking pak aji buat menantu ek. (hehehe... kalau ada la lepas ni dapat baby gal plak)

Shafiyyah, Jannah and Adam. All ready to strut their stuff. Jannah comel giler jadik pengantin fofular!

Si kecik Aishah pun nak join gak. Alaaa... Aishah comel banget.. pakai apa pun tetapppppp la comel kan.


Bila ntah ni,lupa dah.. a few months back I reckoned. Kat skolah bebudak ni ada sort of open day for family to take part in lots of activities with the kids. Bagus jugak kan.. kalau kat Malaysia maybe susah sket nak buat kot pasal student nye ramai bebenor. We had so much fun... Ramai family datang utk take part in all of the activities. Good support from the parents. Cikgu2 kat sini pun sangat baik dan very supportive. ( I didn't say cikgu kat Msia otherwise okkkk...). Meh kita tengok la gambar2 yg sempat di snappy2 kan.

ni sesi buat muka guna tanah liat. Patutnya ayah kena buat muka adik, vice versa.. tp sbb kalau biar kat adik haruslah muka ayah jadik alien kan, so they made up only one clay face of ayah instead. Syiokkk ooo main tanah liat ni.. hihi

ni ayah tengah 'buat-buat' cam paham masa cikgu kakak tgh explain apa ntah.

adik kena paksa "mari mengenal ABC". Stress je muka adik.. hahahaha. Kalau tunjuk satu2 gitu tak berapa nak kenal sgt ABC, tapiiiiiiiii...... kalau kat keyboard komputer, laju!

kakak and her teacher, miss stimpson were doing their "monkey see monkey do" story telling. It was hilarious... siap la dengan gaya segala. Ibu dok kat depan depa tukang gelak. keskeskes....

haaaaa... ni la dia hasil keras tangan kitaorg. Yg tgh tu kakak buat muka ibu, far right plak ibu buat muka kakak andddddddd..... yg hujung sebelah kiri tu, muka ayah. Scary kan?


Saje je la, one fine weekend ada festival apa ntah kat Weston Park (pun dekat ngan rumah jugak). Kitaorg pun pegi la meramaikan keadaan sebab hari tu mmg panas baekkkk punya. Not much thing.. some live music yg takde la best mana pun, antics car show and few other things yg buat budak2 excited mcm kuda pusing2 tu (lahhh.. lupa la pulak namanya), kereta pusing, aiskrim...etc.

kakak amek gambar pakai dress ala2 zaman dolu2 la kot. Yg makcik sebelah tu bukan queen elizabeth yer..hahahahaha

makcik dan pakcik yg dressing up dalam panas sambil main lawn bowling (rasanya laa..) Kalau gua dah gatal2 dah badan dlm panas dok main dengan baju tebal meleret2 tu.

kakak n adik with pudsey bear (charity bear for children hospital). NI lagi la, sure dah masak kat dalam costume tu dek kepanasan


Ni masa dah last b4 balik, naik boat cruise.. ok la. tp masa tu baru lepas hujan so agak sejuk sikit. (sikit ker?)

Tiga, errrrrr.... mak dara pingitan.

On the foot of tower apa tak ingat nama dia tempat org dolu2 berlindung dari musuh mereka. I like the scenery.. cantekk mcm lukisan. Very bold and beautiful gitu.

3 kids and a granny. Sila perhatikan yg depan skali tu.. ecehhh... gaya tak buleh belah... mcm gambar atok dulu2 daaaa.... ( tinggal lagi atok masa tu rambut afro la tapinya....kuang3)

A family with one 'strike a pose' daughter and one 'lepaskan sayaaaaa' son

The 'coolest' boy in Yorkshire... musti nak cool je apa2.. tak cool takmo. (cool tu apa Dik?)

The scenery from the open top double decker bus

Mari bersantai mcm dekat belakang rumah sendiri kinda style. Masa ni dah penat, stop isi minyak dengan bekalan yg dibawa.

Merpati dua sejoli... *wink*

another scenery.. breathtakingly beautiful. Cuaca yg baik hari tu was really a bonus. Kalu dah gloomy je takde la cantek mana pun kot.

ini la dia rombongan cik kiah ke York kali ini. NI masa baru sampai, lom naik bus tour tu lagik. Baru je sudah breakfast nasik lemak kat carpark. Dah org melayu kan.... nasik lemak takleh tinggal, camane pun angkut. Kang makan sandwich je haruslah perut kenyang tapi mulut tak puas... hahahahaha

ok... tu saje. Panjangnyer entry bergambar kali nih. Sampai sakit plak belakang saya ni rasanya, tapi begitu gigih sekali nampaknya.

Note: Dalam begitu banyak kekhilafan dan kesilapan diri, masih lagi rahmat Allah pada kita melimpah ruah. Pernahkah kita benar-benar mensyukuri?

" Maka nikmat tuhanmu yang manakah yang kamu dustakan?" (Ar-Rahman: 13)

p/s: InshaAllah, mari kita sama-sama perbaiki diri, menjiwai peranan.... Apa kata kita mula dengan amalan membaca Al-Mathurat atau kerapkan bangun di sepertiga malam?

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Kalau kau menjadi aku..

Its almost half past 10 and everybody else is fast asleep.

There are lots of things running thru my clouded mind right now. Wish I could just whizz off and be at home. No, where i am at right now is not a home, perhaps a house but definitely not home.
I'm heavily pregnant and all excited about the new bundle of joy, but yet still... why do I feel like crying at the same time?

More than often nowadays, I keep on thinking about this path that I've chosen. Is it really for me? am I doing the right thing? is this what i want to do for many.. many years to come? Dreadfully, the answer is always a big NO. But then again, on the other hand... lets just finish what we've started. I'm so 'sort-of-can-see-my-self' do some other things,things that i love... but it has to wait. InshaAllah the time will come when I don't have to pretend to be smart anymore and can just be plain me instead. Maybe all these top of the range kind of thinking is for you, but obviously not for me. Seriously, I'm tired but God's willing, I will put out whatever the last ounces left of strength in me and fight.

Can somebody at least try to understand?

kalau kau menjadi aku, aku yakin kau mengerti...

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Selamat Hari Bapa dan Hari Suami

Malam ni abangnde takde sebab kena keja shift malam. Rasa sunyi dan rindu la pulak kan.. hehehe, ngengada. Owhhh... tapi hari ni sangatlah berasa begitu best sekali sebab dapat makan nasik minyak ngan laksa penang. Yesss, another food craving satisfied. :D Tenkiu to Linda for the treat. Siap tapau bawak balik rumah, walaupun sudah makan berpinggan2 dan bermangkuk2.

Walaupun sudah terlepas tarikhnya, tapi saya nak jugak ucap SELAMAT HARI BAPA utk ayahande yg amat disayangi. Walaupun saya sendiri sudah nak kertu, tapi I'm always a daddy's gal dan kadang2 agak terlebih manja juga. Walaupun saya ada adik pompuan yg 15 tahun lebih muda dari saya, tapi saya tetap anak manja ayah sebab adik pompuan saya itu boroi. hahahaha... tiada kaitan sebenarnya. Saya doakan ayahanda serta bonda saya dikurniakan umur yg panjang serta kesihatan yg baik supaya mereka boleh beramal ibadat sebanyak-banyaknya. Saya mungkin tak pandai nak mengolah bahasa seperti org lain sebab BM saya mmg tunggang langgang dari dulu pun (ooo.. ini tidak bermakna BI saya power okkk), tp in my own small way, I do love them BIG time!

Utk abangde juga, SELAMAT HARI BAPA. Tima kasih atas kasih sayang (+ duit, + duit, + duit.... hehehe.. gile mata duitan. Sila salahkan course yg saya ceburi sekian lama) yg tidak pernah surut malah bertambah2 walaupun dalam keadaan preggy sekarang rupaku kekadang boleh menjadi seperti nenek kebayan. Terima kasih kerana menjadi seorg suami yg baik dan seorg ayah yg penyayang. I love u for the man u were, for the man u are and inshaAllah for the man u will be. I lap u. hihi...

Ada gambar yg nak di tepekkan disini sebenarnya. Kesah anak bertuah dua org tu buat teddy dan barney busuk jadi pet. Bukan sebarang pet ok, siap ikat leher barney ngan tali yoyo, pastu dengar adik cakap, "come on puppy.... come on" sambil menyeret barneynyer atas carpet seluruh rumah. Apalah daya si Barney tu, kalu boleh bersuara haruslah sudah meraung dan lari dari rumah. hahahaha....

Tapi gambar tu lom upload, ada dlm hp abangnde, tgklah esok, bila dia dah balik keja, dah titon seround, saya mintak dia uploadkan pasal saya adalah buta IT

UPDATE: Gambar penderaan keatas Barney dan seekor beruang putih.

Yoyo tu dapat as a door gift from Iman's birthday (anak bujang Jan), masa nak yoyo tu tadi bukan main lagi mcm terer sangat main yoyo, but sadly it end up on barney's and teddy's neck.

Dua beradik dengan bangganya memperagakan pet masing-masing. Kakak at least takde la dia ikat bantal busuk dia kan, tp si adik.... apa2 pun Barney la jugak yg kena. Amek buat gentel pun barney, buat belasah org lain pun barney, buat cium ngan gomoi2 pun barney, kena ikat leher jadi puppy pun barney jugak.

note: sumer org ckp perut saya besar (mmg la besarkan sebab preggy), tp mcm saiznyer tak rupa org preggy 5 bulan lebih. Ramai yg ingat saya dah preggy ala2 7-8 bulan gitu. huhuhu.. abih tu camno? Dah porut acik mmg bosar, takkan acik nak kono diet lak kan? Acik ingat lopeh ni acik makan buah2an ngan ulam2an yo lah.

note2: Saya cakap kat abangnde, " org laen sumer beruang yang, kita je koala bear" huhuhuhu..... (for whatever that means)

Thursday, June 18, 2009


Hari ni pergi lagik Jessop Wing Hospital. Takde check up apa pun sebenarnya, tp minggu lepas masa buat scanning dorang ukur-ukur tulang baby tp sebab baby was lying on his back maka tak dapek la nurse tu nak ukur spine cord dia. Minggu ni kira rescan utk ukur spine cord baby sajos. Macam biasa, kami pun berbondong2 le pegi masuk bilik scan... sekali bila scan tengok2 baby masih on his back. Sukalah dia... melentang gitu mcm omaknyer. hehehe...

Nurse tu pun suruh la saya pusing kiri, pusing kanan, melentang segala, still baby tak nak gerak. Pastu nurse tu kan dengan tak sayang mulutnya cakap " its a stubborn baby". wahhh... terasa ingin ku cili je mulut dia tau. Pandai je kata anak ibu yer. Tapi sbb ni dah minggu ketiga berturut2 dtg scan, takkan lah nak rescan lagi minggu depan. Cam takde keja lain la pulak asek nak scan jer. So, nurse tu pun suruh le saya jalan2 dulu barang 1/2 jam.

Saya pun gih le cafeteria dia yg bosan tu makan2 sandwich, then jalan2 kat koridor spital sambil usap2 perut cakap soh baby pusing. Ayah lagi lah, siap suggest " kita naik lif sampai tingkat atas sekali nak?" lorrr... dah le ibu tak suka naik lif, lagi mau main2 lif plak dia. hehehe..

Tapi after 1/2 hour, masuk balik bilik scan.... jeng..jeng..jeng... baik je baby dah pusing 180 degree, so his back was clearly seen. See..see,, anak ibu baik tau, ibu gosok2 dia + kasik makan sandwich soh dia pusing, dia pusing apa. Nurse yg memula tu jer mulut tidak berinsuran. Maka mission accomplished. Lepas tu terus je balik rumah pasal ibu dah rasa cam pening2 lalat la pulak. Mungkin terlebih makan sandwich tuna kot.

itu lah saje citer pegi scan perut selama tiga minggu berturut2. Apapun, selonot gak dapat tgk baby gerak2, tgk jantung dia dupdapdupdap, tgk muka dia nampak la hidung mulut segala... tak sabar la pulak tunggu baby lahir. Baju dah beli dah sikit, barang lain lom lagik. Eh, bukan uwan ngan atok nak sponsor pram ke? (keskeskes.. tidak salah mencuba maaaaaaa)
Semoga semuanya selamat dan dipermudahkan olehNya. Ameen.

Note: Nape la ek, semenjak dua menjak ni (adakah hormon ku?) saya kemain sensitip lagi. Abih sumer benda nak sensitip.... mujurlah abangnde memahami (ke terpaksa buat2 paham bang? hihi). Tp yg tak best nyer, kalu emo ngan abangnde je takpe lah... ni ngan org lain pun kekadang nak emo gak. Mcm la org perasan pun kita emo ke apa kan... pastu layan perasaan sorang2. huhuhuhu... harap2nyer its just the hormone in me, bukan sebab saya adalah kesakitan kejiwaan ke apa.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

whats the story in Balamory?

Hari ni saya pegi hospital Jessop Wing utk 20 weeks scan. Minggu lepas dah tau dah baby adalah boy, minggu ni akak nurse tu tunjuk t*t*t baby. Ermm.. kompem lah anak bujang lagi sorang, inshaAllah. Adik adalah tersangat excited, tp kakak mula2 cam tak puas hati pasal dia nak baby gal. Abis tu camno? kakak kasik idea utk swap baby ngan kawan saya yg bakal dapat baby gal hatrik.... huhuhuhu.. tak dapek la kakak, lain kali lah kot2 ada rezeki dapat baby gal pulak ek? (eh, bukan planning nak stop sampai 3 je ke? uhuk..uhuk...)

*********************************end of story mory 1***************************

Minggu ni jugak planningnya nak buat bbq usrah secara agak besar2an. yess.... sate ayam, sate daging, sate perut, lamb, ayam, seafood dan macam2 mak nenek makanan lagi dah dirancang as menu. Tapiiiiiiiiiiiikan, minggu ni asek hujan lebat je, adakah harapan? Harap2 dipermudahkan olehNya. Kami semua berdoa agar cuaca baik utk berbbq. Saya incharge sukaneka, dah prepare baikkkk punya. Tak sabar dah nak makan2 secara massive. (tak baik la sebenarnya kalau makan sampai ketat perut) ooowwhhh.... sebab tu kita perlukan acara sukaneka, supaya ada tempoh bertenang. hehehehehe....

*******************************end of story mory 2 ****************************

Bulan ni, kebanyakan anak2 angkat saya yg agak ramai itu dah habis exam final year mereka. By the end of next month mereka akan convo,lepas tu semua akan pulang ke tanahair terchenta. Ramai yg dah pun ada kerjaya yg menunggu... ada yg jadik pencuci kapal terbang (eh? bukan pencuci ke capau? habis tu apa ek? hahahaha), ada yg bakal jd cikgi, ada yg bakal jd engineer, ada yg bakal jd boss terus kat company ayah dia (abbad, kak nita bukan kata psl ko tau.. hehehe). Dalam hati mmg la gumbira dorang sumer dah berjaya, tp sedih pun ada... lepas ni sapa nak tolong aku masak2 lagi bila korang dah takde? sapa yg nak tolong kemas2, vakum rumah aku lepas buat jamuan raya?sapa yg nak tolong amekkan bebudak ni kat sekolah kalau dorang ada aktiviti sampai lewat petang? sapa nak tolong jaga anak aku secara percuma? sapa? sapa? huhuhuhu.... hiba la pulak kan. Tak tau lah bila dah balik Malaysia nanti, bila masing2 dah jadi org besau2, ingat lagi tak dorang kat kami ni. Harap2nyer jgnlah lupa.

*********************************end of story mory 3 *************************

Saya kan nak cakap terima kasih yg amat sangat pada mak ayah saya pasal dorang kasik saya bantuan menggunakan talian hayat. Saya adalah amat terharu dengan pengorbanan mereka. Saya mahu mereka tahu saya sangat2 sayang mereka. Saya juga mahu beritahu bonda saya, jangan lupa bonda kena datang sini lepas raya nanti utk sambut kedatangan cucu baru ye... hehehe.. bertuah punya anak!

********************************* end of story mory 4 ********************************

Hari ni tetiba saya dengan ntah macamana boleh bercerita perihal sesuatu yg menyenakkan kepala saya pada seorang sahabat. Saya yang amat sangat terharu sebab dia tanpa diminta telah meng'offer'kan dirinya utk membantu. Saya kata nanti dulu, kalau saya benar2 perlukannya saya akan beritahu. Tapi sekurang2nya saya tahu,dalam dunia dimana manusia berlumba2 mengejar kebendaan utk diri sendiri, masih ada lagi yg meletakkan org lain dihadapan... seperti pengorbanan kaum Ansar terhadap kaum Muhajirin. Saya juga bersyukur pada Allah, walau begitu menggunung kekhilafan diri, Dia masih sayangkan saya. Dia gerakkan hati sahabat saya utk bertanya... sekurang2nya ia buat saya rasa sedikit lega. Alhamdulillah. (kenapa saya masih juga tetap selalunya alpa? kadang2 saya rasa macam nak marah dengan diri saya sendiri)

******************************* end of story mory 5**************************

anak bujang saya, Alif Ajmal selalu tanya soalan pelik2 @ tak relevan. COntohnya, tgh orang lain sumer dok diam2 dalam keta, tiba2 dia boleh tanya, "ayah, are u a fish?" lorrr

Penah jugak dia tgh poopoo, tiba2 dia jerit2 panggil saya. Ingatkan dah sudah berurusan, tp dia tiba2 plak cakap, "the cereal is 49p you know... its 49p." eh? apakah kaitannya?

ataupun tiba2 je dia bingkas bangun dari tido dan bagitau,"when I sleep just now, I had a dream you know". Bila ditanya mimpi pasal apa, dia cakap "cbeebies". Ntah betul ntah tidak adik mimpi.

ni ada lagi satu.. yg terbaru punya masa balik dari BBQ ptg tadi (ohh..btw, alhamdulillah... the weather was super nice today and we had lots of fun). Masa masuk je dalam keta, tiba2 adik bersuara.. "ayah, I know how to say Good Morning in FRENCH". Ayah pun tanya la balik, " ye ke? how?" Lepas tu adik ngan konfidennya jawap " SELAMAT PAGI" hahahahahaha... amek ko, french katanya.

********************************end of story mory 6**************************

eh..penat dah saya story mory. lain kali saya story mory lagiiiiiiiiiiiii.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Cerita sempena layout baru

kakak baru bangun titon. Wiken ni kakak dah nak kena pindah kat top bunk sebab nak kasik adik tido kat katil bawah. Ini semua persediaan utk menerima 'adik' terbaru. hehehe...
mula2 adik offer diri nak tido katil atas, tp cam tak caya jer, takut melingkup ke bawah tgh2 malam. lagipun adik selalu bangun malam and self servis naik atas katil ibu.

Ini adik (yg tak lama lg akan jadi abg ajmal). Bangun pagi dia terus mengadap komputer sambil mimik dan setia ditemani oleh barney busuknya. sila lihat betapa khusuknya barney tgk masterji main bobinogs.

entri ni sengaja dibuat sempena layout baru blog anitakema nih. Penukaran layout nih abangde yg buat (tp saya yg pilih sendiri) sebab saya mmg lembab tahap cipan kalu bab2 cenggini.
Ada byk benda nak citer, citer sedih, citer suka, citer biasa2.. citer rasa nak marah pun ada, tp takmo lah citer yg tak best. Nanti kalu tensen2, boleh depress plak.

eh jap, comel kan layout baru blog saya... adalah begitu anita sekali. Comel dan ceria. (ok..ok.. tak comel sgt pasal dah tua, tp tetap ceria kannnn... wpun kekadang menangis didalam hati...)

Morning sickness saya dah ok skrg, at least takde la melepek je. Jadinya rumah saya pun dah tak berapa tongkang pecah sgt dah. keadaan semakin terkawal nampaknya. Tapi belum lagi kembali seperti sediakala, esp tang bab kain baju yg mmglah sentiasa melambak2 kan. Ditambah pulak ngan anak teruna saya tu asek je nak tukar seluar baju tanpa sebab. sikit2 cakap dia tak cool, pastu senyap2 pi tukaq baju. Ntah cemana yg cool pun ibu tak tau.

Si anak dara plak, terlebih kreatif. Dia mmg suka amat gunting2 kertas, buat mcm2 projek craft. Tapi yg hanginnya segala sampah sarap tinggal je bergolek atas lantai. Aduhai.. tak bagi kang, menyekat kreativiti plak, dibiarkan boleh buntang bijik mata ibu.

owhh.. tiba2 hilang idea.

Hari ahad lepas adalah sangat best. Cuaca panas cam kat Msia ok.. pagi2 kitaorg pegi carboot jap. siap jam tu b4 masuk entrance carboot tu. Ada la beli baju baby sikit2 pasal tak tau lagi baby boy ke gal. Minggu depan baru nak pegi scan. Bali dari carboot singgah morrison sat beli ikan mackerel beberapa ekor. Sampai rumah terus je operasi "Nyah Baju". hahaha.. banyak giler dowh baju tak basuh. Jadi kami laki bini sibuk la menyidai baju2 yg terbelangkai sampai tengahari. Cadangnye lepas jemur baju nak bakar ikan, tapi... keletihan la pulak. Terus je bentang carpet kat luar dan tidor dibawah cahaya matahari. Ala2 sub bathing gitu... haha. Tapi yg bebenornya siap pasang apa ke nama payung besor tu sebab tak tahan la panas sangat.. (ahh.. mengadanya bunyi..)

Bangun tido pakat makan buah melikai. Tak potong, main korek2 pakai sudu jer.. fuhhh, heaven tau. Dah puas tido, makan buah, sidai kain, kemas rumah sket... dah petang dalam kol 6 baru la kitaorg start bakar ikan. Yang fabulus nya, siap ada budu cap keterehhhhhhhhhhh. Ya Allah, mmg sedap banget sih makan budu. (budu adalah ihsan dari zana and sob). Perghhh, tak Msia lagi ke tu.. bersila kat luar rumah makan nasik ngan ikan bakar cicah budu. Tinggal lagi mmg bukan kat Msia la..huhuhu.

oklah, tu jer la nak cerita. Nak siap2 gi school plak ni. Lambat dah ni. Salam.

note: Cik Kuna, aku sgt rindu dekat awak. Tahukah awak aku amat tersiksa adanya hidup diperantauan ini? Tahukah awak...

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Dan perginya sebutir mutiara...

Masa sekolah dulu, saya agak nakal. Waktu tu di MRSM Kerteh. Al-maklum saje, kecik2 lagi sudah masuk sekolah berasrama. Masa hari pertama pendaftaran kawan2 yg lain sedih hati melihat mak ayah masing2 pulang, tp saya bukan main excited lagi tak sabar2 nak suruh mak ayah pulang awal. Lagipun beberapa org roomate saya masa tu adalah kawan2 semasa sekolah rendah. (terus terasa otai..hahaha)

Warden masa tu ada dua orang, cikgu Maziah dan juga arwah ustazah Anisah. Dua2 memang warden yg sangat tegas. Kalau katil tak tegang mcm kulit kena botox, masuk bilik warden. Kalau tertinggal pen tepi katil pun masuk bilik warden, kalau kena kantoi tak pegi prep haruslah kena masuk mengadap, kalau locker tak kemas tersusun ala2 straight mcm pembaris pun kena jugak. Owhh.. kalaulah anda semua berpeluang tengok locker saya masa belajar dulu, haruslah anda semua kagum. hehehe....

Dan kesalahan yang paling common sekali ialah 'ter'miss sembahyang subuh di surau. Kalau waktu maghrib dan isyak biasanya takde masalah, tang subuh je yg selalu liat sikit. Arwah ustazah kami, senang saje method nya. Dia akan tampal notis dekat depan lif (ye, kitaorg dulu asrama pakai lif ok) "Sesiapa yg tak pergi sembahyang berjemaah subuh di surau, sila datang ke bilik warden lepas prep malam ini". Takde senarai nama, takde sebarang indication yg dia tau siapa yg bersalah. Tapi tengoklah sebelah malamnya nanti, pastilah bilik warden penuh sesak. Sampai sekarang kadang2 saya masih terpikir, apa yg membuatkan kami menyerah diri begitu mudah? kalau tak pegi, bukan ada sapa tau pun. Dan kalau pegi, semua maklum akan hukuman yg akan diterima. Tapi kami tetap menyerah diri, dengan cerianya.

Pernah satu hari, agaknya masa tu arwah ustazah dah geram sgt dengan kami yg selalu ponteng jemaah subuh. Maka hari itu, hukumannya lain dari biasa. Kami kena jalan itik, atas tar, bawah terik matahari di bulan puasa. Ramai yang sampai menangis-nangis masa tu. Tapi masih juga, bila notis yg sama keluar lagi di lain hari, kami tetap berbondong2 pergi.

Pernah sekali, saya tertinggal cermin mata di lobby dekat dalam pigeon hole tempat surat. Dalam hati, " alah, takkan la ada sapa2 perasan cermin mata tu kat situ". owhh, meleset. Bila balik kelas, cermin mata sudah tiada disitu. Saya pun terus saja naik ke bilik warden dan jangkaanku benar belaka. Cermin mata saya sudah disita. Dan untuk mendapatkannya semula, saya kena duduk 'steng' 10 kali. Tau duduk 'steng' tu mcm mana? mcm nak ketuk ketampi half way. Kena stay mcm tu. Dan ye, there's a catch. Satu round tu makan masa 3-5 minit. Nak tau sakit ke tidak, cuba la duduk steng tu dalam 5 minit, saya kena 10 kali. Untuk cermin mata saya yg besar gedabak tak cun langsung tu, saya kena bertahan sampai 30 minit. By the time saya selesai, kaki saya dah menggeletar rasa mcm nak merangkak je balik bilik. Memang sakit, tapi saya tak pernah serik. huhuhu..

Dek kerana kenakalan saya, seminggu 3-4 kali jugaklah saya kena masuk mengadap. Selalunya utk kesalahan persendirian, arwah ustazah akan cubit dekat lengan. Pernah satu ketika, sebelah lengan saya dah ada 3 tanda lebam. Ingatkan terlepas lah dari cubitan, tapi sekali arwah ustazah cakap, " Dah, bak sini lengan yg satu lagi". Hahahaha... mimpilah nak terlepas kan.
Mcm tu lah sampai form 3, sebab masa form 4 dah pindah MRSM KT pulak. And all those years, tak pernah terlintas dihati utk berdendam apalagi membenci. Budak2 sekarang, pantang ditegur guru, mereka pula yang naik sepak terajang. Dalam diam, saya sebenarnya bersyukur pada Allah. Ketegasan mereka itulah yang banyak membentuk saya, dari sekecil hal seperti mengemas katil dan locker, sehinggalah ke bab agama. Kadang2 saya terfikir, kalau saya tak melalui semua tu, bagaimanakah saya sekarang?

Sekarang kami semua sudah besar panjang, cerita semasa kecil sudah jauh dan lama ditinggalkan.

Beberapa tahun yang lepas, arwah ustazah disahkan menghidap kanser payudara. Bila kami dapat tahu, ramai bekas anak2 murid arwah pergi melawat di hospital. Saya hanya mendengar kabar dari mereka, melihat gambar yg dititipkan. Mereka beritahu arwah begitu gembira dan terharu kerana bekas anak2 muridnya begitu ramai yg datang melawat. Arwah begitu berterima kasih atas ingatan mereka. Tapi balas kawan2 saya, "kamilah yg patut berterima kasih pada ustazah, jasa ustazah pada kami tak mungkin mampu kami membalasnya". Arwah meninggal 2-3 bulan kemudian. Pergi sudah seorang guru yang kami kasihi, tapi jasa arwah akan kami kenang selagi hayat dikandung badan. Al-Fatihah buat Ustazah Anisah Awang. Doa saya, roh arwah ditempatkan bersama orang-orang yg beriman. Ameen.

Saturday, April 04, 2009


(got this from another blog, it was hilarious... kelakau sehhhh)

Now and again, my lil' boy keep on saying this... " can we have the baby now ibu? please.. I want the baby nowwwww.."

Aduhai, ibu nih loya pun lom habis lagik. "Its now time yet adik". Ibu cuba explain, tp ada adik kesah? hahaha...

Hampir tiap2 hari dia tanya. Kadang2 soalannyer tu dia piuh2 sikit. "Do you have a baby in your tummy ibu?", adik tanya. "yes, I do", jawab ibu. "I don't have a baby in my tummy", kata adik lagi. "no, you don't", balas ibu. "Can I have the baby in your tummy now?" lahhh.. ke situ pulak adik ni.

Budak berdua tu mmg excited betol nak dapat adik. Kakak is always sensible as usual. Ada satu malam tu ibu kena heartburn, ayah plak takde kat rumah sbb kerja. Masa ibu dah guling2 kesakitan, kakak was so calm, letak minyak kat belakang ibu pastu gosok2. Then she get the phone and call ayah with the calmness that definitely not from me. hehehe...
"I'll be the adult in the house when the baby is here" kata kakak. ecehhh, kemain lagi anak dara ibu nih. Tapi kakak mmg boleh diharap walaupun kekadang dia boleh jadi garang mcm singa....

owhh, spring is here. More sunshine, less cold and lots of colorful flowers. I likeeee!
Apalagi kengkawan semua.. marilah berbbq! Saya teringin nak mamam sate!

note: semalam teringin nak makan char kuey teow. Dah buat utk lunch merangkap dinner merangkap b/fast utk pagi nih. Sekarang teringin nak makan Nasik Berlauk pulak. Owhh.. indahnya kalau berada ni Tengganu.
(suka tau.. berangan nak makan itu ini sampai masuk dalam mimpi. Aisehhhh...)

Tuesday, March 10, 2009


sebelum pegi sekolah, tengok2 salji dah agak banyak kat luar. Bukan selalu kat sheffield ni turun salji tebal.. selalu tu sampai ke tanah dah cair...

tgk ayah buat apa kat adik.. dia baling adik ngan snow ball pasal adik easy target. sian baby ibu kan... biasa dia ayah ni..

gambar seperti remaja2 di frenster. kuang3

our house backgraden view. Dalam gambar nampak cantik kan... yg sebenarnyer takde la cantek mana pun... tambah dengan sejuk beku... huhuhu.. sakit lutut acik ni haaa

tersangatlah perasan macho walaupun nan ado.. hahaha

adik with his angelic smile

ibu wif kakak.. pose dalam snow yg tgh turun... tersangatlah terasa obersea kan... hahaha

-----------------------end of snow pics---------------------

ni masa mula2 sampai kat auditorium di university of leeds. omak2 sumer tengah bz breakfast kot masa ni. anak2 buat aktiviti berlari2an sesedap rasa sebelum ditenangkan dengan crisps sorang satu

lagu first, palestina tercinta.. towards the end of the song, anak2 masuk bawak bendera palestine. Terus je dapat tepukan gemuruh.. terus je omaknyer pulak yang terasa artis gitu.. hahaha..

b4 our second song, theres a dialogue bet. shafiyyah and me... shafiyyah punya la steady, ibunya maintain nerbes la kan.. tak nerbes kang, tak ibu la pulak... masa ni adik masih dalam barisan, afterwards masa kakak tgh nyanyi, dia pegi kat tepi kakak buat2 muka blur dan terus dgn selamba badaknya bergerak keluar pentas dan duduk kat kerusi... apa laa adik.

shafiyyah dengan gaya tersendiri. That pink anak tudung was specially bought for this event ok... tudung pink tu ibu punya la. yes! girl power! Everyone thought our performance was sweet, hence the 'best performance award'.. hehehehe... I'm pretty sure most of the votes came bcoz of the kids, plus we're the only postgrad group in the competition. suara memang la ala2 jer pun.. tapi semangat yg penting. Dan yang lebih penting, sambil menyanyi, sambil menyampaikan mesej yg baik ke arah membentuk individu islam yg mantap... inshaAllah

---------------------------end of nasheed pics----------------------------

there it is.. part of our many activities here. I owe this post to my parents. Mama and papa, sorilah gambar seciput je, ni pun cilok dari facebook member (credit to Jan).

Sibuk jugak sekarang ni.. study pun tgh bz jugak, dengan ada alat yg on loan pastu dah kena jual nyer.. adussss! terpaksa la berkejaran dan berebutan bersama yg lain utk perabih test sample2 yg ada. Ditambah pulak dengan keadaan sekarang yg asek loya jer.. opppppssss!

But on top of it all, life is good.. Alhamdulillah. Sometimes tight, sometimes under pressure, sometimes depressing... but all in all its still much better compared to those who are less fortunate. All the obstacle makes me 'a stronger and with more perseverence' me. Yang penting SABAR. InshaAllah, Allah plans is the best.

Dekat sini ramai jugak antara kami yg diuji dengan dugaan dari segi kesihatan, kematian dan sebagainya. But of course along with that, there are bundles of joy too.. ramai woooo yg dapat baby semenjak tahun lepas, berderet-deret tak putus lagik nih... hujung tahun ni pun dah ada sorang booking, inshaAllah. opppppppsssssss lagiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
Cuma kita ni sebagai hambaNya, bila ditimpa musibah atau diberi ujian, janganlah cepat melatah, pastu tgk kiri kanan mencari org lain utk dipersalahkan. Apatah lagi kalau sehingga boleh membawa fitnah kepada org yg tak bersalah...huhuhu.. tak betul tu. Kita cermin2 diri kita dulu lah. Apa salah aku? dimana kurangnya iman aku? kalau ada benda yg orang lain buat tak betul sekalipun, kita atasilah dengan berhemah... nak berdakwah dan berbuat baik pun kena ada akhlaknya. Tak boleh main hentam keromo saje... tak gitu?
InshaAllah kalau hati kita ikhlas, tentulah Allah akan permudahkan. Dalam kita nak memberi teguran, jangan sampai mengaibkan orang. Perhalusilah... kenalilah... wallahualam.

owhhhh.. ada je lagi benda nak tulih sebenarnya, tapi seriussss sudah tersangat sleepy head. But at least I do make another post with pics to quench all the 'rindu dendam' atok and uwan. This weekend ada sheffield games, our usrah group is going to open a stall with mouth watering authenthic delicacies... most originated from pantai timur: nasi dagang, nasi kerabu, laksam, rojak buah, cendol pulut and lots of kuih muih. But mama dearie, don't panic ok, coz' I will only be the tukang tunjuk2 je sebab tgh meloya skrg nih.. hehehe walaupun still in charge of nasi dagang as usual.. tp kali ni ada ramai assistants. :D

okeylah, before I slump on this keyboard and doze off, better go now. Katil sudah memanggil.. daa.