Its almost half past 10 and everybody else is fast asleep.
There are lots of things running thru my clouded mind right now. Wish I could just whizz off and be at home. No, where i am at right now is not a home, perhaps a house but definitely not home.
I'm heavily pregnant and all excited about the new bundle of joy, but yet still... why do I feel like crying at the same time?
More than often nowadays, I keep on thinking about this path that I've chosen. Is it really for me? am I doing the right thing? is this what i want to do for many.. many years to come? Dreadfully, the answer is always a big NO. But then again, on the other hand... lets just finish what we've started. I'm so 'sort-of-can-see-my-self' do some other things,things that i love... but it has to wait. InshaAllah the time will come when I don't have to pretend to be smart anymore and can just be plain me instead. Maybe all these top of the range kind of thinking is for you, but obviously not for me. Seriously, I'm tired but God's willing, I will put out whatever the last ounces left of strength in me and fight.
Can somebody at least try to understand?
kalau kau menjadi aku, aku yakin kau mengerti...